I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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