morning after pill = breakfast in bed
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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