I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
