Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
That accounts for only three of the penises
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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