She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
