I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
