no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You've changed since you got that strap on
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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