You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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