Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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