also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
