I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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