living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
