So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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