John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
