i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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