carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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