Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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