PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
