Redeem this text for a blowjob
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
