too bad you live with your parents still
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
