I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
