"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
