apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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