just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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