well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
