HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
