he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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