i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
