Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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