i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
