yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Say something about gay babies.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
