i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I puked a lego.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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