Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
