All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm at about main and main street
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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