I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Randomize
