even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
