What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
