Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
