I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
