She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Randomize
