im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
