Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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