Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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