Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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