Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
