They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
