butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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