He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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