Fuck appropriateness.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
