what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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