I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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