i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
