Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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