i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
How's work?
Spinning.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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