went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
